I have come across many people who (how do I put this) hmm… who believe that a man should be the dominant breadwinner and that women should ‘depend’ on the man (direct or indirectly) for financial needs. Recently, a close relative said something, which annoyed me. It annoyed me enough to be posting this.
So, here is a list of things, women have said to me directly, which I find very difficult to comprehend.
- “I want a man who makes more (money) than me”– Why?
- “Why do you work? Get your husband to work and provide for you.” – But, I don’t want to be depending on anyone. Plus you are giving me contrasting advise, you and the society pushed us for education and training and now you imply that we should stay at home cooking and cleaning?
- “I know he cheated on me but he used to buy me all the gifts and presents and make me feel so special” – Wait, what?
- I want a man who already has a house and preferably finished with mortgage” – Surely you can’t fully accept that it would be your house together. I mean technically it’s his. Just his! And also what about ‘building your home together’, isn’t that the fun and exciting part of a growing relationship?
- “I want a man who can buy me (materialistic) stuff” – I accept people’s desire for things, but seriously, get a job and buy your own damn stuff!
- “Marry a rich man and then you can spend all his money.” – Isn’t that selfish and cruel? Spend your own money! Why spend his?
- “Marry a rich man or a man who can provide for you” – Everyone should be able to provide for themselves.
- “You need a man with a good job so he can look after you” – But, I can look after myself; I don’t need a man for that.
- “Learn to cook, you need to know this for when you are married” – Everyone should learn to cook because it’s a great skill to have, not for your spouse.
- “I can’t be too career focused I want kids” – But you can have both!
- “I was out with a guy and my girlfriend joined us and he didn’t offer to pay for us” – Why should he? Pay for your own goddamned drinks.
Remember, a man is not a financial plan!